


Onion Knight For Sale In The Vegetables Aisle

by SearchingforSerendipity



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Davos just wants to buy onions, Grocery Shopping, Little King Renly loves peaches, M/M, Modern AU, Stannis loses his brother while shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 23:43:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4542042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SearchingforSerendipity/pseuds/SearchingforSerendipity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“i lost my little brother at the grocery store and you found him and now it seems like you two are best friends and he doesn’t wanna lose contact with you so it seems like i’ll have to get your number - at least your hella cute” au</p><p> Renly Baratheon, King of Westeros, aged all of nine-and-an-half, is on a quest to find the treasured Highgarden peaches before his brother, the terrible grumpy Stone Dragon stops him. Davos Seaworth just wanted to buy some onions. Instead, he finds a little boy, a knighthood and the most disgruntled older brother in King's Landing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Onion Knight For Sale In The Vegetables Aisle

**Author's Note:**

> This is me writing the grocery store au nobody asked for and everyone needs . 
> 
> I own absolutely nada.

One of the best parts about being a dock worker was the proximity to the freshest products. Most of the cargo was sent for the warehouses, and from there to Oldtown or White Arbour and then to Lys and Braavos, but a few local groceries got the freshest foodstuffs right out of the ships.

Of these groceries, Davos personal favorite was 'Highgarden - Growing Stronger'. The food was not always cheap, but you couldn't deny they had the best products, even if the owner's wife and manager was a frankly terrifying woman who knew everything about every costumer and insisted in calling him 'the smuggler', never mind that Davos hadn't been in trouble with the law for coming on a decade.

Strolling through the aisles with the plastic bag in hand, Davos tried to remember if Devan had mentioned anything in specific, or if at six year old he was too young for him to have an opinion. It certainly hadn't been like that for Mathos, who'd refused to eat anything other than applesauce for months, or Allard, who had seemed to change preferences three times a day. But down that road of thought lay only grief, so he made himself move on and plan what to make for dinner.

He'd made his way to the vegetables aisle, because apparently Higharden did not believe in a single produce aisle, and was wondering if the difference between regular onions and biological, no-fertilizers-used-onions was worth the extra two silver pieces or if he should just buy premade onion soup and reheat it at home when something collided against his leg.

Looking down, he saw there was a little boy with a mop of black curls one the ground, having fallen from the tricycle he's been riding in. He couldn't be older than nine, and a pained, constant part of him ached with knowing that Maric and Mathos would never get to be this old, Allard and Dale barely older. The child didn't seem harmed, but he'd fallen in his rump and looked a bit shocked. Spotting the wet eyes and wobbling lips, he squatted down and smiled, trying to avert a tantrum.

"Hello. I'm Davos. Nice cape you have there. Are you a superhero?" He asked, noticing the rainbow flag wrapped around the kids shoulders like a cape. Now that he looked closer, there was a rolled up newspaper in the ground, shaped to look like a swords. _He's probably in that knights and king's phase_ , he thought, remembering the Halloween Dale had dressed up as King Arthur and insisted Davos and Marya dress as Merlin and Lady Guinevere respectively, Marya already big with Devan. In fact, it had been Dale and Marya's last Halloween, and so too for Allard and Mathos and Maric.

But that was then. Now, Davos found himself looking at a pair of wide blue eyes under a mess of black curls. For a moment he worried the kid was going to break in tears anyway, but he recuperated quickly, beaming at his question.

Picking up the paper sword, he swung it grandly, "Not a superhero! I'm King Renly Baratheon, Lord of the Rainbow Guard, First of my name! I'm the King of Westeros!"

Davos grinned, "Is that so, Your Grace? Then may I assist you back to your royal steed? It's a beautiful horse." Actually, the tricycle was a truly gaudy shade of yellow, but Renly beamed when he lifted him back to his feet and made a show of placing his sword through his trousers' belt hoops.

"It is, isn't it? Did you known I'm on an adventure?", he asked, changing the subject in that lightning fast way young children have. Davos rolled with it, looking suitably impressed.

"An adventure? I see! And it seems you, like many great travelers before you, have lost your path in the Labyrinth of Vegetables and Canned Goods. And now you find yourself in a crossroads, is it not?"

Renly nodded, trying to look solemn but grinning too hard for it. "I'm running away from the Stone Dragon! He doesn't like treasures, you see, so I must go on a quest so find the Treasure Aisle before he finds me", leaning over, Renly whispered like he was sharing dangerous information, "Do you know where the peaches are?"

Davos stifled his laugher. He wondered what problem the kid's parents had against peaches. Still, better to distract Renly before he wandered off and got in actual danger. It was a big grocery, but if the boy was so intent in getting his peaches then his parent, this 'Stone Dragon', would probably look for him there.

" Indeed I do. Let's make a deal, Your Grace, okay? I'll take you to the peaches, if you swear on your honor to wait with me there for the Stone Dragon", noticing that Renly seemed ready to protest, he went on," I've eaten this peaches before, they're very good. I can tell the Stone Dragon that, so he'll let you keep your treasure."

Renly scrunched his face in a thoughtful scowl he probably thought was fierce but only looked adorable on him. Finally, he nodded, placing a pudgy palm over his heart.

"I swear on my honor as a king to wait for the Stone Dragon near the Treasure Aisle. Lead on, Ser."

They walked down the vegetables aisle to the corner that lead to another corridor, this one a colorful universe of fresh fruit, Renly pushing the tricycle and swishing his cape, chattering away about the adventures of King Renly and his royal knights Lady Brienne the Beauty and Ser Loras the Flower of Highgarden, which made Davos think that Renly might be friends with Olenna's youngest grandson he'd heard her talk about.

"Loras is my best friend, but Brienne is a better knight. She always wins their fights and he gets mad and says she's not a real knight cause she's a girl. Do you think Brienne can't be a knight cause she's a lady?"

Davos pursed his lips. How to put medieval roles in a modern children's game nicely without teaching sexist values?

"I think Brienne should be whatever she wants to be. Maybe Ser Loras is just angry she's better at fighting, but being a knight is about more than that. Knights were the king's friends and gave him advice. Kings get lonely too, you know. Everyone should have their own knight, I think."

Renly considered. "Even Stone Dragons?"

He nodded, "Even the most awful dragon should have a friend."

This seemed to surprise him. Davos let him think, staying silent until Renly suddenly stopped, eyes comically wide.

"What happened to your hand?" He'd wondered when he'd notice it. Renly stared at his left hand with the fascinated repulsion most kids had when they saw the missing joints. Clearly, he expected a grisly story and Davos was happy to oblige.

"A demon lion bit it off just as I was finishing it off. Luckily, my companions had a magic potion so I only lost four fingertips."  
Technically, it was all true. He'd had the accident during his last hour of his shift, when moving containers from the Golden Lion, the ship that carried top notch gadgets from Lannister Inc, and the pain had certainly been like something from the Seven Hells. It had been pure chance that one of the other dockworkers had once studied to be a nurse and managed to patch him up and save his hand until the ambulance came.

The insurance money had been decent, though. He and Marya had been discussing saving what was left of it for the boys studies, but then some idiot priest in the Red God temple a street away had left the nightfire burning unsupervised, and the whole block had burned down, with Marya and their four oldest inside. He gave thanks to the Father everyday that Devan had been in the daycare at the time

Renly looked ready to fire more questions, no doubt about how much blood had there been and if he still kept the fingers (yes to both questions), but thankfully they had reached the peach stand.

The little boy whooped, earning strange looks from the other customers. Davos had to laugh at his exuberance, bowing as he pointed at the peaches, "Behold, Your Grace, the great treasure of Highgarden!"

After that, it was a question of entertaining Renly until someone showed up. He had to remind him a king's promise was very important, and that even royals couldn't eat peaches before they were bought , but it was alright to touch them as long as he didn't squish them. He was teaching Renly how to choose the best peaches by squeezing them softly when someone shouted the boy's name.

The Stone Dragon turned out to be Renly's much older brother, a tall, gaunt faced man with striking eyes, a deep blue that reminded Davos of the deep sea before a storm. It was also clear whose scowl Renly had tried to imitate, because Stannis Baratheon - that was his name, Stannis - spared no effort in making Davos feel like he is being somehow glared into a long, painful death. Not that he blamed him, Seven knew what he'd do if Devan had disappeared and turned up with a strange man in tow.

"I'm sorry, perhaps I should have taken Renly to the counter. Only, he seemed rather fixated on the peaches and I figured you would eventually check there", Davos apologized. Honestly, he really should have though this one better, but the idea of subjecting little Renly to Olenna Tyrell's prickly care while waiting had seemed cruel.

And to be honest, it wasn't just that. He remembered well when he's lost Allard in the mall once, when Marya had been shopping with her friends for new baby clothes for Maric and Davos had been in charge of Dale, Allard and Mathos. Allard had wandered off, ever his adventurous boy, and gotten lost in the food court. It had been one of the most terrifying moments in Davos' life by far, and though Allard had tried to play it cool, he'd later confessed to his father that what had scared him the most was how everyone ignored him, like they didn't care at all. He couldn't really find it in himself to do the same thing to another child.

"I suppose you are not entirely to blame. I have told Renly many times before not to talk to wander off, and most certainly not to talk to strangers." Davos couldn't help but wince when Stannis turned his displeasure fully on his brother. To his credit, Renly didn't cower for long, puffing out his chest and waving his cape like a diminutive Dornish bullfighter.

"I wanted to get my treasure, it's not my fault your an old boring Stone Dragon who doesn't like peaches," he said, ignoring his brothers darkening temper. His next words were very effective in silencing the coming argument, "Anyway, you shouldn't be complaining. I got you your own knight!" Then he beamed, clearly proud of himself.

Davos swallowed down the wrong channel and burst into coughs.

"What daft game are you playing now, Renly? "He couldn't be sure, but Baratheon might have flushing, though whether from anger or embarrassment was a mystery.

The resemblance between brothers was suddenly clear; they both jutted their jaws the same way when bickering." It's not a daft game! Ser Davos said all kings should have knights and everyone should have at least one friend, because everyone gets lonely, and I know you need a knight. Maybe if you had a friend you wouldn't be so angry and scowly all the time."

Renly panted for breath at the end of his speech, looking expectantly at them. His brother rallied, lifted an eyebrow archly, "Then by all rights that makes me a king as well, following the old inheritance laws, though I suppose such a crown would belong to Robert." His lips twisted, this idea was apparently highly distasteful to him. Davos guessed this Robert was an older relative of theirs.

"Regardless, I am not in need of a knight, and I most certainly am not lonely." He spoke the word like it was something foal. Then he turned sharply to Davos, " Besides, I wasn't aware Mr.Seaworth had done anything deserving of a knighthood."

Davos blinked. For a moment he imagined he was in the most bizarre job interview ever, trying to list his talents and curriculum vitae to a disgruntled lord. It was all fancy, of course, but there was something challenging about Stannis Baratheon's gaze, like he saw the world and did not expect to find anything up to his standards, that pricked him and roused his curiosity in equal measures. He found himself speaking before he was even sure what he meant to say,

"I did save His Grace from the Labyrinth of Vegetables and Canned Goods. It's a terrible maze, you know."

Renly agreed with enthusiasm, "He's right! Ser Davos could be your knight, your Onion Knight!", he said, pointing at the sack of a dozen onions Davos realized he was still holding. As far as titles went, it wasn't great, but it could be worse. _At least I'm not the Turnip Lord or something_ , he thought ruefully.

For a moment Davos held his own against eyes that seemed to bore into him, wondering what it was that they saw when they looked at him. A normal looking thirty-something bloke in a salt-stained cardigan, worn jeans, with a scruffy beard to match, probably. He tried not to feel self-conscious in front of Baratheon with his pressed pants and expensive brand jacket.

But Renly was on a roll, "--and you could be friends and you could come over while Stannis is at work and play with me instead of Mr. Cressen. He was Stannis and Roberts teacher, but now he's old and boring and he never plays knights and dragon. I'd be King and you'd be Ser Davos and Stannis can be the King of Stone Dragons, maybe. We could play that, and come-into-my-castle, and princesses-and-dragons, only with knights and kings! It would be so awesome!"

Davos cut Baratheon off before he could speak, "I would love to watch after you, Renly, but I have work most days until six and a son to take care of. Devan is only six, you see, and I'm the only one taking care of him." It wasn't like he could afford a babysitter of his own everyday, after all.

Renly looked so crestfallen Davos felt guilty. He noticed Baratheon took on a bizarre look before speaking unexpectedly, in a way that was more statement than questioning, "I assume you are capable with children then. Would you be free on Wednesdays and Fridays at half past seven? I often have to work later in the firm those days, and Renly is correct in that Mr.Cressen tires early and easily. You would be remunerated fairly for your work, although of course I'd have to ckeck your background. But you would be welcome to bring your son with you, granted you are capable of handling him and Renly both."

Davos blinked. The last thing he had expected when leaving the docks this afternoon had been to be offered a baby-sitting job by a virtual stranger. But he couldn't deny he could use the money, and Renly seemed to be the kind of rambunctious child that needed more attention than his brother was capable of giving him. Plus, Baratheon was right - he certainly was no stranger in taking care of energetic boys. '

 _And_ , a knowing voice that sounded eerily like his deceased wife's whispered in his mind, _You'd get to spend more time with the grumpy older brother._  He ignored it.

Idly, he wondered if his stint in jail as a teenager would put Stannis off the whole thing. Strangely, he really hoped it didn't.

"Sure. If you give me your number or email, I can send you my curriculum and we'll talk", then, "If that's alright with you, my lord." He could hardly believe what he was saying. When had been the last time he had flirted like that? Gods, was Stannis Baratheon actually offended or did he always look this constipated when pleased ?

Still, he tried to make himself look as earnest as he felt, trying to convey that, no, he was not some dangerous shady character, and that though he didn't entirely understand why, the idea of never seeing this stern man and his bright, fanciful little brother was much more disappointing than it had any right to be. It must have worked, because Baratheon nodded and Davos found himself inhaling through his smile. He hadn't even noticed he'd been holding his breath.

Renly shared his happiness, cheering and lifted his paper sword high at the LED lights like he'd just won a glorious victory against impossible odds. Davos disagreed. Looking at Stannis Baratheon standing straight and awkward in the middle of the fruit aisle, finding something of his own musings in those unyielding glances, he had the sudden certainty that the tale of the Onion Knight and the King of Stone Dragons was only just beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!


End file.
